You cannot have a problem without having a grievance against someone.
Grievances generate problems and misunderstandings.
So our willingness to give up grievances not only frees those whom we have a grievance against, it also frees us from our problems.
A problem is a finger of accusation pointed at someone, stating, “You hurt me, failed me, did not love me or care for me enough.” Grievances come from feeling that another victimised us in some way.
This denies our responsibility and the hidden collusion of our thoughts, feelings, patterns, and choices that helped generate the event from our side.
Grievances also hide our guilt about the very thing of which we are accusing another. So our giving up of grievances not only returns us to a level of response-ability and responsibility always blocked by grievances, it also frees us of the hidden guilt within, letting any mistake outside us be corrected.
As we let go of the grievances against others, we in turn release self-attack. This brings about a new level of success, confidence and ability to receive.
Exercise
Imagine a problem you have.
Ask yourself, who is this grievance with that brought about this problem?
Unless you want to hold yourself back, imagine yourself releasing this grievance so both you and the other can move forward and be free.